So... I recently heard about a fascinating (and utterly inappropriate) job opportunity.
So I thought I'd post some of my strengths and weaknesses for whoever might be interested. Here goes:
• Slipping on flat dry surfaces
• Getting lost without freaking out
• Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and random obscure holidays
• Acting interested when I’m actually bored to tears (though, conversely, I am terrible at feigning indifference – NO poker face whatsoever)
• Folding fitted sheets
• Guerilla ear-worming (Karma Chameleon, anyone?)
• Capturing and releasing spiders (or else leaving them be and naming them “Errol”)
• Untangling headphone wires
• Stating the obvious
• Wasting time
Do they matter? All that matters is:
Unfortunately, none of the highly marketable skills listed above matters a damn because I live in and adore Chicago and I don't think I'll ever move away (save for true love! )
Love to you all.
PS: Confidential to M - Dude! I finally caught your video diary from November and WTFuck were you wearing???? That stripey, furry coat thing made you look like an acromegaly-afflicted Ewok... Love you anyway!