Thursday, March 25, 2010

Résumé

So... I recently heard about a fascinating (and utterly inappropriate) job opportunity.

So I thought I'd post some of my strengths and weaknesses for whoever might be interested. Here goes:

Strengths
• Slipping on flat dry surfaces
• Getting lost without freaking out
• Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and random obscure holidays
• Acting interested when I’m actually bored to tears (though, conversely, I am terrible at feigning indifference – NO poker face whatsoever)
• Folding fitted sheets
• Guerilla ear-worming (Karma Chameleon, anyone?)
• Capturing and releasing spiders (or else leaving them be and naming them “Errol”)
• Untangling headphone wires
• Stating the obvious
• Wasting time

Weaknesses

Do they matter? All that matters is:

Unfortunately, none of the highly marketable skills listed above matters a damn because I live in and adore Chicago and I don't think I'll ever move away (save for true love! )

xoxox

Love to you all.

PS: Confidential to M - Dude! I finally caught your video diary from November and WTFuck were you wearing???? That stripey, furry coat thing made you look like an acromegaly-afflicted Ewok... Love you anyway!

3 comments:

Jay_Lee said...

Dude seriously you can fold fitted sheets?!?!?

You are so hired to....um.....be my friend for life dammit

Angelique said...

LOL! Lady, you are seriously talented!!!

iriske said...

You are so clever
wedding dress