Saturday, April 3, 2010

Drip... Drip... Drip...

Got home around 9:30 tonight from my writing club.

Walked into my apt, was greeted by fluffy yellow kitty. And then heard a strange pitter-patter sound. I thought it was the other kitty and walked down the hall to see what she was doing. But then I realized the sound was coming from the washer/dryer closet.

I opened the door and the sound I heard was like rain on a tin roof. And that description is pretty apt.

I called my 3rd floor neighbor, who said, no, she wasn't running her washing machine. So I went to visit the 2nd floor neighbor. She wasn't running hers either, but we could *hear* water rushing somewhere near her machine. So I called my kitty-corner neighbor (who's on the condo board) to get the number for the maintenance guy.

Hot Maintenance Guy comes over. In the meantime, both 3rd Floor and Kitty-Corner have shown up at my apartment and are happily drinking my beer. We're having a grand old time.

Turns out there's a burst pipe in 2nd Floor's wall.


So Hot Maintenance Guy and I go down to the basement to find the right pipe to turn off (water is just *gushing* into the storage space)

An hour (and another round of beers) later, Hot But Grumpy Plumber Guy shows up. He and Hot Maintenance Guy spend the next hour traipsing from basement to 2nd Floor and back again, using my apartment as Center Stage in some bizarre comedy of errors.

It all turned out for the best.

We caught it pretty quickly (thank goodness I didn't follow through on my whim to drive home to Iowa to surprise my parents for Easter!!!!) and it looks like there's minimal damage to my unit.

And frankly, it was a pretty fun evening!!!

Thursday, March 25, 2010


So... I recently heard about a fascinating (and utterly inappropriate) job opportunity.

So I thought I'd post some of my strengths and weaknesses for whoever might be interested. Here goes:

• Slipping on flat dry surfaces
• Getting lost without freaking out
• Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and random obscure holidays
• Acting interested when I’m actually bored to tears (though, conversely, I am terrible at feigning indifference – NO poker face whatsoever)
• Folding fitted sheets
• Guerilla ear-worming (Karma Chameleon, anyone?)
• Capturing and releasing spiders (or else leaving them be and naming them “Errol”)
• Untangling headphone wires
• Stating the obvious
• Wasting time


Do they matter? All that matters is:

Unfortunately, none of the highly marketable skills listed above matters a damn because I live in and adore Chicago and I don't think I'll ever move away (save for true love! )


Love to you all.

PS: Confidential to M - Dude! I finally caught your video diary from November and WTFuck were you wearing???? That stripey, furry coat thing made you look like an acromegaly-afflicted Ewok... Love you anyway!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Can't Sleep

I've been over-extended and exhausted (mostly mentally) for the past several days. So naturally I can't sleep.

This is a rare occurance for me. Usually I'm out for the count as soon as my head hits the pillow. But when I know I have to be up early for something (like a crazy early flight out of Midway) I find it difficult to fully enter the Land of Nod.

FKB knows this too. He curls up on my pillow and purr-purr-purrs right in my face. Real cute, but real annoying too.


So I finally dragged myself out of bed and am tooling around the internets. I'm so tired I can't stand myslef, but I know that I won't be able to fall asleep asleep unitl about a half hour before I have to get up - so what's the point?

Double sigh.

I can sleep on the plane (I hope) - with my luck I'll get a middle seat.

Triple sigh.

Oh well.

See you all on the flipside.


Monday, March 15, 2010

Bad Day(s)

I did not have a good weekend.

My plans with C fell through - he ended up having to work late into the night on Friday and then again on Sunday.

I had been looking forward to a nice leisurely weekend of getting to know one another better.

I was disappointed that this didn't happen, but I know that he's hella busy.

So instead I hung with my girls. A & A both got their first tattoos and it was fun to hang out at a tattoo parlor.

On a whim I texted B (the ex from this summer) b/c we've always been friendly and I know he was into tattoo (I also texted C) - but the response I got from B threw me. "Out with girlfriend" he told me.


Now, I wasn't even aware he was dating let alone at the point of "girlfriend" - a moniker I'm not sure I ever rated with him (he never used the word in my presence, anyway) and this completely threw me. I was shocked.

Granted - he's not my boyfriend and he hasn't been for several months. I have a new man and I certainly don't begrudge him moving on. He's a great guy and I hope he finds someone he can feel that *something* for.

But it threw me. And on top of my plans with C falling through... well.

But such is life. Nothing has really changed, just my view of it has shifted a bit.

Here's hoping for a much better weekend ahead, spent with family (girls' trip to the F.L.A!) and friends (woot!)

So if I'm not online much this week, don't worry. But if I'm not back in seven days, you might want to call the Orlando police about a creepy 7-foot tall mouse running around without pants....

Love to you all!



Thursday, March 11, 2010

My Boyfriend...

So, as most of you know, I'm usually pretty good at keeping my ridiculousness in check. Mostly...

Occasionally, though, it goes off the rails.

Case in point: I recently got it into my head that I should fly to London (LONDON, BABY!) for a friend's birthday party next month. This would consist of only two days actually on the ground in London (LONDON, BABY!) both of said days being booze-soaked and fraught with insanity.

I finally decided against this trip. For two reasons. 1) It would have swallowed up the last of my tax refund and 2) I'm too damned old to sleep on the floor

Compromise: Instead I'll plan a more sensible trip in the fall

On other issues, I'm not quite as rational (Hi, Rational! Miss you! Hope you're doing well in VEGAS, BABY!!!!) when it comes to men. Specifically imaginary men.

I typically have random "imaginary" boyfriends, The best part about the imaginary boyfriend is that I'm safe from things like breakups and clamidia. The worst part, is of course, the fact that he's *imaginary* (see how that works??)

Now, sometimes these imaginary boyfriends are actual people. No one I've met, just real men who are - for whatever reason - unavailable to me.

Right now, my imaginary boyfriend is Jason "Mayhem" Miller. He is so freaking adorable I can't stand it. I mean, I realize how ridiculous this is. First of all: He was born in the 80s. That's a deal breaker right there. Second: his head looks like a maxi-pad. Seriously, he's got this silly red stripe...

But I am seriously crushing on him these days. He's hot, funny, hot, articulate, hot...


Really, he's adorable...

Though... he does have to share me with my other imaginary boyfriend: Craig Ferguson. Swoon... Craig... Crap, I heart him so much. And I could listen to him talk all day!

And then there's my REAL boyfriend. Who is just as cute as Mayhem or Craig, smart, funny, and... eh hem... hung! (teeheehee!!!) Luckily, I'm pretty sure HE will find my ridiculousness absofuckinglutely ADORABLE! Because, let's face it, it IS!

Catch ya on the flipside!

PS: Is it TOO obvious that I've had half a pot of coffee this morning....?

Love you all!


Thursday, February 25, 2010

My First 5K

So my first "official" 5K is still several weeks away.

But I ran 5K this morning!!!!

I hadn't planned it. I was up to 2 miles and I figured I'd run 3 today, but I'd break it up into half mile intervals. But once I got past the first half mile, I felt pretty good and decided to go for 1 mile intervals.

As I neared the end of the first mile, I decided "Why not just run the whole 3.2 miles (5K)" ????

And so I did.

And at the end I didn't feel like I *needed* to stop.

I keep going back to the fortune cookie I opened New Year's Eve 2008/9: "Don't Underestimate Yourself"

I need to remember that.

Monday, February 22, 2010


Went shopping this weekend with Terri and another friend.

I'm a little freaked out b/c I finally did a proper bra fitting. And while I've heard over and over and over that most women are wearing the wrong size bra, I was still shocked to discover that I am a 36D.

I had been wearing a 38B.

Now, I love my breasts. But I've always thought of them as relatively small. They're certainly smaller than most of my friends' or my mom's or my sister's. But not "small" per se. I always thought they were proportional.

I'm mean, yes, I have breasts, but they're not ginormous - barely more than a man-sized hand-full (eh hem...) and I always thought: B-cup. I'm a B-cup.

I certainly never imagined I was a D-cup. I had this image of a D-cup as something really large, but it's not.

It's interesting, really. Several of my friends have had professional fittings and most "boobologists" will tell you that 7 out of 10 women who come in are wearing the wrong size and of those, the majority are wearing too large a band and too small a cup for proper fitting.

So I know it's not just me, but I think there's this general misconception about bra sizes. Most women see the "D" as something "huge" when really it's not. And I would guess that most women out there are larger than D.

Friday, January 29, 2010

I can has Run?

I ran a whole mile today without stopping.

And then I did it again!

This may seem like nothing special to those of you who actually LIKE to exercise, but for me, this is HUGE.

I've been following a "Beginning Runner's Guide" from Runners World from like 1997. It has a schedule that lets you build from 1 minute running intervals up to 30 minutes of solid running.

As of this week I've been running 7 minutes at a stretch (a half mile at my pokey speed) and I was due to bump it up to 8 minutes today. I sooooo dreading this. I mean, really, I was *dreading* the idea of running one minute longer. How crazy is that?

So I decided, about two minutes into my first interval, to see if I could just skip ahead and run for 13 minutes (one mile)

And I did!

AND! It wasn't even that bad!

So I did a three minute walking rest and then ran ANOTHER mile!

And it wasn't that bad!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Vote, Dammit!

So, I know I sound broken-recordy, but I just want to remind everyone here in Illinois to Vote on February 2, 2010.

There are a number of Federal, Statewide, and local races on the ballot.

And you can early vote until January 28.

I don't care WHO you vote for (though I have my opnions) just as long as you VOTE.

No excuses. Just VOTE, dammit!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I'm a Free Bitch, Baby!


So 2010 is off and running.

And so am I. About 10 months ago I tried to start running but injured my foot before I could really get going. Grrrr.

It's taken a long time but it's finally well enough that I have been able to start running again. I'm up to 20 minutes of running now - in 5 minute intervals - and am on track to run a 5K in March.


Wish I could say the same of my love life.

The guy I was dating turned out to be a real asshat. And a pussy.

I'm not a bitter kind of person, I generally accept that most relationships fail. But this guy was a total passive-agressive jerk about the way he blew me off. He even told me that he was planning to move back to California.



Luckily, I wasn't too invested in this guy - though I DID like him - so I'm not really hurt or anything. Just annoyed.

But he's not worthy.

There are many great guys out there and I know that sooner or later I'll find the right one for me!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Endings and Beginnings....


My trainer Sharon and her family are moving out of the country next month.

What?! Huh?! What?!

I was stunned by this news. With her help I have lost 30 pounds in the past two years - nowhere near as quickly as I would have liked but it's been a total life change for me and everyday I come closer to realizing that THIS (eating healthy and working out 4-5 times a week) IS going to be my life - for the rest of my life.

She's been a wonderful friend, giving me advice and support and that ever-essential accountability.

I will miss her but I'm also very happy for this amazing opportunity she and her family have to live in another country and truly experience a different life.

But I also have a decision to make. I can switch to a new trainer - she suggested another woman who can work with my schedule (5am is AWESOME!) but I'm not obligated to continue with a trainer.

Part of me wants to try it solo for a while (the cheap part me - personal training is EXPENSIVE!) and if it doesn't work, hire a new trainer after a couple months.

Part of me KNOWS that I truly NEED the accountablility that a trainer gives me.


So I have a decision to make.

I also need to (quickly) think of a good "Thank You!" slash "Congratulations" slash "Good Luck" gift for Sharon...


Monday, December 14, 2009

Flashcab SUCKS!

So, Mike, the supervisor on duty at Flashcab on Saturday is a DICK.

I called Flashcab at 2pm (I like the idea of using a smaller, local cab company rather than the bigger corporate cab agencies - more fool me!) and ordered a cab for 3:15pm because I needed to be at the wedding early since I was an usher and didn't want to inconvenience my designated driver by making her show up hella early too.

3:15 came. And went. I called Flashcab at 3:20 to check on my cab and the dispatcher tells me that they have me down for 3:45 TOMORROW.

I lost my nut.

It wouldn't have been such a big deal if this had been the first time this happened. But Flashcab screwed me over back in August too. But I was willing to give them a second chance.

The guy who answered the phone was wholly unhelpful. He just kept repeating that "we have you down for 3:45 tomorrow" - which did nothing to help my current situation.

Then he transfers me to "Mike" the supervisor. Mike is a dick. Not only did he NOT apologize for the mistake but he said, "well, it's not like we're forty-five minutes late or something" and then, when I asked him if he was going to apologize said, "I already did."

And, when I told him that he would be losing my business forever - and I'd be telling all my friends - and he said, with utter unconcern: "OK"

What a dick.

So. Don't use Flashcab. They suck.