I went out on my first date with a guy I met on Match.
I’d seen his profile and he looked attractive and sounded entertaining so I sent him a *Wink* which is the Match way of letting someone know you’re interested without having to say anything.
Given how quickly he responded, I could reasonably assume that he liked my profile as well. He mentioned how much he liked my glasses (that librarian thing again, Garth?) and wanted to set up a date for bloody marys that same weekend.
This was awfully quick for me and I told him (truthfully) that I was helping a friend move. He then came back with Monday, and when I shot that down: Wednesday. And after he hounded me a bit, I finally agreed to meet him in person on Thursday, assuming that he’s the sort who just likes to do stuff face-to-face.
My inner alarm bells did not go off when he suggested a place near his home, though I was a bit miffed that he didn’t even try to suggest someplace in the middle. But the alarms did begin ringing when, as we were confirming the time and place, he wrote that if we “clicked” we could go back to his place after.
I thought I might be over-reacting to this, but my friends (both imaginary and real) told me to be careful and a couple even suggested cancelling.
I didn’t cancel. Instead I emailed him back, very firmly telling him that if was looking for a quick hook-up I was NOT the girl for him.
Boy was he cute! Several years older than me with classic but understated good looks. Thick dark hair with a little grey in it (sexy!) and incredibly blue eyes.
But he was fucking nuts.
He spent the vast majority of our date talking about what a psychotic bitch his ex-girlfriend is.
I’m not kidding.
He complained up and down about how poorly she’d treated him. So, at one point I just had to ask what the appeal this heinous hell-beast had had for him.
EEE: I gotta know, this chick sounds like a total pill. I mean, she treated you like crap. WHY did you stay with her so long?
Guy: Well, she was HOT!
Yup. He even tried to give me her Match username so that I could look her up to see just how hot she was.
Surprisingly, I actually had a good time. I was vastly entertained by the whole situation, the conversation flowed well, and I really liked the little joint we were at: a cool little neighborhood wine bar called Broadway Cellars. Good atmosphere, cute bartender, lovely Zinfandel…
So, at the end of the date, he paid the bill (my rule is that I’m always prepared to pay my share but I will graciously accept if the guy insists) and I thanked him.
But we didn’t leave.
He made no move to put on his coat.
Finally I couldn’t just sit there any longer and I had to ask,
EEE: Um…. Are we waiting for something?
Guy: (Pointing to the TV behind the bar) First Down
I can’t make this shit up.
So, I waited patiently through the next play and when the orange and black team did not make it past the Yellow Line, I stood up and put on my coat.
EEE: Well, I’m going to go to the El.
To his credit, he put on his coat and walked out with me. But we’d only gone about ten feet when he walked away towards a car parked at the curb.
Guy: (from the other side of his car) Well it was nice meeting you!
EEE: You too! Thanks for the drinks.
And he got in his car and drove off. Now, I’m all for equality and independence and clearly we weren’t going to exchange bodily fluids any time this century, but still!!! He could at LEAST have offered to walk me to the El. The neighborhood wasn’t totally sketchy, but….
Stay tuned for the next installment of Adventures in E-Dating!
Have a great weekend, all!!!!