Early Show

I’m an early riser. I try to leave for the gym by 5am most mornings. In order to accomplish this, I have several alarms which go off beginning at 4:30. The “big” alarm is the one in the livingroom. It gets progressively louder the longer I leave it untended, and not wanting to annoy my neighbors, I usually jump out of bed and run to turn it off – which really wakes me up.

But this morning I didn’t need my alarms.

I woke up around 4:10 and, feeling a chill breeze coming in from the windows, turned off my bedroom fan. I laid there for a minute or so, trying to reclaim those last ten minutes of sleep. But I couldn’t sleep.

Mostly because of the voices.

I heard voices. Male voices. They were whispering and they were obviously nearby. My heart began to pound. Was someone in my apartment???

Then I realized that they were coming from outside my window. In addition, I could hear a small metallic sound, like keys or some other small objects scraping against each other.

I lay very very still, trying to make out what might be happening. My building is U-shaped, and my bedroom window is kitty-corner with my neighbor’s livingroom window. This is a great arrangement for both sets of kitties, who spend hours staring one another down across the six-foot distance.

Below those neighbors is a garden unit complete with a small private patio. My bedroom window looks directly down on this patio. Since I rarely spend much time looking out by bedroom window, this is no big deal.

Now, the garden units are the only ones in the building which can be accessed without first going through a security door. Whoever was out there was obviously trying to be very quiet. My first thought, then, was that someone was trying to break in.

I didn’t want to look out my window – it was too close to the patio and I’d have to pull my shade aside to look out. I didn’t think I could spy without drawing attention to myself. And I didn’t know who was out there and if they might be armed or what. So I crept out of my bedroom as quietly as I could and made my way to my living room where the blinds were half open and I could peer out without being seen.

I didn’t turn on any lights, but I did grab my cell phone on the way in case I had to call the police about possible home invaders.

But I didn’t see home invaders when I crawled onto the couch and craned my neck to look out the window and over at my neighbor’s patio.

I saw my neighbor. And his boyfriend. Nekkid. Kissing. And... other stuff.

Ooops!

I stepped back, relieved. No break-in. No intruders. No need to call the cops. Just two guys thoroughly enjoying themselves.

I went and laid down on the futon my office – whose windows look out over the back garden – and tried to salvage the last few minutes of night before my alarm would go off.