Thursday, September 3, 2009


So, I've given this a lot of thought. I've pondered it. I've weighed it. I've looked at from every angle imaginable.

And I've come to the conclusion that I over-analyze stuff.

I've also realized something very simple: Men do NOT do this.

Men do not analyze and re-analyze and over-analyze things.

They don't worry about what they're going to say to us and how we might interpret (or mis-interpret) it.

They don't run practice scripts past their friends before sending mundane emails.

They don't re-read our texts and try to find the hidden meaning in "I'll let you know"

Because to a man "I'll let you know" means, simply "I'll let you know"

Go figure.


Jay_Lee said...

One other thing about men, when asked a direct question, they hedge and do anything and EVERYTHING except give you something that even resembles a straight answer.

Angela said...

Good post! I agree completely. This is why, when I feel like overanalyzing a relationship, I talk to my friend M. We save our neuroses, our "Why did he say that?" "Why did he do that?" etc. for each other. Whenever we're tempted to "discuss the relationship" with a new guy, we turn to each other.

Mind you, we don't do this as avoidance -- you have to be able to discuss things in a relationship -- but rather, to avoid freaking out a guy when it's been only a month or two and we know we're being "typical" women by overanalyzing things

cycle003 said...

You might want to re-analyze this! I'm the kind of man that does analyze things and prepares scripts of what I want to say in advance. Maybe it's indicative of my INTP personality type, but I like to make sure that I convey my thoughts and feelings accurately, which is often difficult in emotional situations. I also typically choose my (especially written) words carefully, so I sometimes over-analyze other people's words because I (often incorrectly) think they may have also carefully chosen their words. Of course, if I say "I'll let you know," it means "I'll let you know."

Jay_Lee: I'm sorry that you have encountered such dodgy men, but not all men are like that. I don't know enough about you to know what kind of men you date, but I think a lot of guys that are BS'ers are good at making a first impressions and attracting women to them. I ended a friendship with a guy who got a lot of ladies by telling them lies that made him sound much more interesting than he was in reality. (We had a big argument because he thought that lying was something that you HAD to do to be successful.) Sometimes, the guys that seem less interesting are more stable and honest than the flashy ones.

EEE said...

Dammit, Cycle!

Are you sure you're already married????

And yes, I'm aware that my INTJ-ness contributes to my over-analyticalness.


cycle003 said...

He hee! (blush) (grin)

You're sweet and very much my type, but I am indeed happily married.

Rational said...


I over analyze things, just not "what does 'talk to you later' as a text message REALLY mean. Give me a break!

I think you know that I am not part of this general sweeping categorization of men who dont express what I feel or can't be direct, just ask Flawless!


J-Kat said...

Okay, you've seen the Dave Barry story about Roger and Elaine haven't you? It's been around for a long time, but here's the link if you haven't. I used to read it in my college classes and they loved it.

Jay_Lee said...

Hey Thanks Cycle, and I know that all men aren't like that. Problem is all the good ones are either married (like you), taken (like Rational) or gay.

The kind of guys I date. Um, well to be honest I really don't date all that much. Or I haven't since my daughter's father and I split. My relationship that ended in Jan was almost 2 years so I'm a little out of practice. Oh well, I'm too busy to really care much right now anyway, maybe by the time I finish school....

EEE said...

Dude, Rational.

I was not complaining about men.

I was pointing out something stoopid and irrational that *I* do.

EEE said...

OMG, J-Kat!

That is PERFECT!!!!!

cycle003 said...

Thanks for the chuckle, J-Kat.

The more I think about this, I think one difference is that guys don't analyze these things with other guys. We (or at least I) may run these over-analyzed scenarios in my head, but I leave them there. So, maybe it IS a difference between men and women, but I think if you have a partner with whom you can communicate, you can settle most of these internal debates.

Typoterri said...

Women will pour over details and analyze them to death. Not all women, but a lot.

That's why men (most) don't like shopping with women. We even will analyze outfits.

We analyze cooking, letters, postings, words, thoughts, mannerisms.

Just the introverts do it even MORE and a male introverts will understand it.


Now I have to go and analyze my post and see if what I said makes any sense. :)

EEE said...

Hehe... Terri.

Grammergrrl told me to tell you that it's "pore" not "pour"


shane said...

No, i wouldn't say that only women do this - i used to do it a l lot.

When i was dating in college - my first real serious girlfriend - would get so upset with me - because i wouldn't get mad at her when she did something that deserved my ire. I would take long walks and analyze our hypothetical argument and decide who was right and wrong - and either apologize to or forgive her (all without her being involved). It drove her crazy.

i learned that you actually have to communicate with someone instead of reading into their words. And i agree with cycle - guys don't usually have the outlet of other guys to go into such detail.

But your post made me laugh.