Thursday, July 31, 2008


When I was home recently, I went with my sister to the store to buy my niece’s school supplies.

It was a Saturday and we’d been hanging out in the 3-season room, watching the kids play dominos. (Have you ever watched a 4yo boy play with dominos? It’s… interesting.) My parents were going to a retirement luncheon and my sister wanted to go shopping.

Jo: Do you want to go to the store with LMT* and me?
*LMT = Little Miss Thing, my niece
Me: Sure, I guess.
LMT: Yea!!!!
E-man: Me too???
LMT: No!
Me: (rolling my eyes) If you want me to go, he has to go too. Grandma and Grandpa are leaving and he can’t go with them.
LMT: I don’t want HIM to go!
(Ah… smell the sibling rivalry!)
Me: Then what do you suggest we do? (Yes, I realize I was trying to reason with a 6yo…)
LMT: Leave him here!
Me: By himself?
LMT: Yes!
Me: No. If you want me to go, E-man has to go too.
(argument over)
Me: How long is this going to take?
Jo: About an hour and a half.
Me: What?! An hour and half? At Wal-Mart? On a Saturday? No way! Give me the list!
Jo handed me the list.
Me: There’s no reason this should take any longer than 20 minutes.
Jo: What?
Me: I’m serious! Drop me off at the door and come back 20 minutes later and I’ll have everything. An hour and a half… That’s crazy!

My sister rolled her eyes at my mother, who had long since accepted my “unnatural” hatred of shopping.

So my sister drove us to Wal-Mart, which in my opinion is a store conceived in the seventh ring of Hell. I don’t like shopping, and I really don’t like shopping at stores like Wal-Mart, and I especially don’t like shopping at stores like Wal-Mart on a Saturday unless it’s 8am and the store is practically empty.

As we’re driving I notice that my sister is holding her cell phone in one hand and steering with the other. And then I realize that she’s TEXTING. Now, my sister is not a stoopid girl. She does a lot of stoopid things (we ALL do) but she’s not stoopid. Or so I’ve always thought…

Me: Are you out of your mind?! That is the stoopidest thing I’ve ever seen anyone do! Put your phone away and DRIVE!
Jo: You just don’t like it because it’s illegal in Chicago
Me: What!? No. I don’t like it because it’s STOOPID!
Jo: Whatever.
Me: Put it away or let me and the kids out of the car. You’re driving around in 2 tons of glass and steel. PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD!!! Put the phone away! There’s nothing you need to say that can’t wait ten minutes!!! There’s nothing to say that’s worth jeopardizing your life and mine and your CHILDREN’s lives!

Laws are being enacted all over the U.S. to make texting while driving illegal. I’m astounded that this is even necessary. When did this trend start??? Are people really that stoopid???

Yes, E. Yes they are.


Garth said...

You forgot one small detail about your trip to Walmart. What percentage of the store patrons were wearing sweatpants or "fashion" sweatpants (but it still has an elastic waistband).

Just kill me if you ever see me in Walmart Saturday morning wearing sweatpants.

Anonymous said...

So how long did it take in Walmart????

EEE said...

Anonymous said...
So how long did it take in Walmart????

Hahaha! TOO long!

Angelique said...

Great story, EEE. My "daughter", Stella was driving on the freeway and texting yesterday even after the many lectures I had given her and the many times I told her "she was too precious too risk". Kids! they never listen!

Anyway, yesterday (another reason I was distracted) I got a call from Stella, crying/sobbing. She was texting on the freeway and ran into the truck in front of her when traffic slowed down. Of course, the first thing I asked was whether SHE was alright. Luckily she was. In between sobs she told me that I was right and she would not be texting again. Arggggg!!!!

Angelique said...

P.S. Who is Aphrodite? Is that Flawless's new nom de plume?

Anonymous said...

I hate shopping, too. Now if I was loaded maybe it would be a different story.

I've wondered who Aphrodite is also. I thought Flawless had an ISP in Deland, FL

From the heart

EEE said...

I don't think Aphrodite is Flawless. Flawless always shows up as Cinncinati or FLA for her ISP.

Unless she's in town and hiding.... Hmmm...

I've been thinking that maybe it's Court...

But I don't know.

I really think there are many many more "lurkers" than we're aware of...

Anonymous said...

I agree that there are a lot of people "lurking". I guess I am a lurker even when I don't comment. Like yesterday I was busy and gone all day so I caught up late last night. It seemed like everything had been said so I didn't comment.

Soon I'll be back at work (school)next Monday----although working all the time at home---I will still read, but won't comment as much. When I begin to read a new thread (esp. late in the day/night) and there are 78 comments, I have ideas to express but I hate to write them until I have read all the comments. By the time I get to 78 there are now 89, I have forgotten what I wanted to say ;-) (age factor) or like I said above everything I was thinking was said.

I like what J-Kat said on the Introvert thread: ICRTTBIDHT (I could respond to that, but I don't have to.) She says she has used it on some threads, but I haven't seen those evidently.

Have you or Angelique heard privately from Rational?

Tell us, really, how long did it take at Walmart?

From the heart...

EEE said...

Hi, Heart!

Wal-Mart was probably around 20min but it felt longer.

As we were leaving, Jo got annoyed with me because I asked the cashier to put our purchases into the new backpack we'd bought LMT instead of giving us half a dozen plastic bags...

I heard from Rational the other day. He is very very busy but he wishes everyone well.

I told him how people who don't usually post have come creeping out of the woodwork to ask about him. I think he got a kick out of that!

I hope he comes back to the boards soon. It's really not the same without him.

Angelique said...

Morning EEE. I'm waiting for it to get light enough for me to head into my garden without a miner's lamp.

So when will you post one of your REALLY erotic oeuvres for our Yahoo group? I notice no one is posting stories there as yet. Shouldn't the Yahoo venue be spiced up a little. Right now..........Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz, boring. What do you think of the pictures posted thus far?