So, you all know by now that I've been trying to lose weight. And succeeding, though at a glacial pace.
I honestly think I would have thrown in the towel by now if it weren't for my trainer, Sharon. She's not especially inspiring or perky (THANK GOD!!!!) and she hasn't told me much that I didn't already know. But she kicks my ass once a week and gives me something I don't have otherwise: accountability.
I think maybe it's a function of being a single, independent woman. Don't get me wrong, I love living alone. I love the peace and quiet. I love knowing that if there's a mess it's my own mess. I don't have to feel guilty about it and no one is going to harp on me to clean it up (oooh, I can just hear Rational gnashing his teeth!!!) Conversely, if I get the place sparkling clean (*snort*), there's no one to undo my hard work.
But the flipside of being independent and self-sufficient is that I'm not accountable to anyone else. Who am I hurting when I gain five pounds? Me. Not hurting anyone else. Just me. It's a victimless crime.
So, that's what I'm really paying Sharon for: a little accountability. She drags my ass onto the scale every friday, asks me what I've been eating, what sort of exercise I've done. She's not judgemental, but having to say it out loud is a good motivator for me.
And through her I've come to realize that the one person in the world that I SHOULD be accountable to is ME. And after I'm done working with Sharon, I'm the one who's going to have to hold myself accountable. I think it'll always be something I struggle with, but no one else is going to put me first. I have to do it.
So far, I've lost ten pounds in three months. Slow slow slow. And without Sharon, I probably would have quit weeks ago. But at my recent re-evaluation, I found I've GAINED six pounds of muscle. So I've actually lost SIXTEEN pounds of FAT.
Yea me!!! And an extra big YEA!!! to Sharon!