Tuesday, January 13, 2009

My Kingdom for an Ice Pack

Mother Monkey!!!

I was on my way back from a meeting a bit ago when I slipped and fell in the lobby of my building.

Now, this had nothing at all to do with the carpy weather and everything to do with my innate klutziness. I only ever seem to slip and fall on flat, dry surfaces.

There was a contributing factor this time, though. My adorable little shoes. And the fact that I was walking too fast.

So, I slipped, I went down hard on my right knee, I said a nasty word really loudly, and I blushed furiously and told the people around me that I was perfectly fine except for my extremely bruised and battered pride. And then I went back to my desk.

I was able to walk just fine, but it was definitely throbbing when I got back to my desk. So I took a couple Advil and pulled up my pant leg. Sure enough: goose-egg.

So I decided to go get an ice-pack from the company nurse. Boy howdy is there a lot of paperwork to fill out. They seemed very concerned that this had happened while I was "on duty".

EEE: Dude, I'm not going to sue the company. I just want an ice pack.
Clerk: Procedure

So I fill out my paperwork and am sent into the Nurse's office. I don't remember ever going to the Nurse's office while in school, but I imagine it was similar except that I always thought there'd be a couch or something to lie down on.

A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door and Dr. Doogie came in. I swear this kid was 12 years old - complete with little blond face-pubes.

Doogie: So you fell?
EEE: Yep. I think I just need an ice pack.
Doogie: Was the floor wet?
EEE: Nope. Just a klutz.
Doogie: And you hurt your...?
EEE: Knee. (I pulled up my pant-leg to show off my goose-egg) I took a couple Advil already. I just want an ice pack.
Doogie: So were you able to walk back to your desk?
EEE: Yeah...
Doogie: OK, I have to take your blood pressure.
EEE: I hurt my knee.
Doogie: Procedure.
Doogie: (after my blood pressure comes back at a slightly elevated 132/84 - I was in pain, dammit!) That's all right. Your knee doesn't look too bad.
EEE: No. But it hurts.
Doogie: Do you want some aspirin?
EEE: No. I told you, I already took some Advil.
Doogie: Oh. Then why are you here?
EEE: Ice pack. I. Want. An. Ice. Pack.
Doogie: Oh. OK. (goes to the freezer and gets one) Here you go.



Garth said...

Do you need someone to kiss it to make it feel better?

And why were you walking so fast? Too long of a lunch break and running across the lobby to get back to your office in time?

Put some witch hazel on it to minimize the bruising. Sounds like it's going to be nasty.

EEE said...

*swoon* You know I'd love for you to kiss it better, handsome!

And I wasn't walking any faster than usual, I just failed to slow down knowing that I was wearing precarious shoes on a glossy marble floor.


Thanks for the witch hazel suggestion. I think I have some at home.