Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Fwd: Aquarius!


So… My sister really gets off on sending me chain mail. I've told her repeatedly to knock it off and she doesn't do it as often as she used to, but today I got an email titled "Fwd: Aquarius!" with the following message attached.

What I find the most interesting about this message is that there is apparently a sliding scale of bad luck if you don't forward it on, depending on your sign. Scorpios get off pretty light, with only 4 years of bad luck, but you'd better pass this hot potato on PDQ if you're a Capricorn: 20 years, baby!!!!

I honestly don't put a lot of stock in horoscopes. I figure you can close your eyes and pick a sign at random and at least 60% of the traits will pertain to you. But mine are actually pretty damn close. Anyway, here's the email:

Below are True descriptions of zodiac signs. Read your sign, and then forward it on, with your zodiac sign and label on the subject line. This is the real deal, try ignoring or changing it, and the first thing you'll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning - and it only gets Worse from there. Remember, if you are on the cusp of another sign you most likely will have features of both signs...which may lead you into total confusion......

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Optimistic and honest, sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality. 11 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

(Ooh… Rational! You and Jo both had better make sure you forward this. 11 years!!)

PISCES - The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20) Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful. 8 year s of bad luck if you do not forward.

(A "good kisser," eh, Nova??? Maybe we should talk…)….

Now, I included both Virgo and Libra because I was born on the cusp (the Cusp of Beauty it's called…) and I like to cherry-pick what I like from each. Trouble is, they pretty much BOTH apply to me….

VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
Dominant in relationships: sometimes ;)
Conservative: only on the surface
Always want the last word: Hell YEAH!
Argumentative: Duh!
Worrier: Not so much – though I was a total worrywart when I was younger. Now I only worry about what I can control.
Very smart: sort of. Getting dumber by the day
Dislikes noise & chaos: Depends on the situation, but usually, this is true
Eager: Huh?
Hardworking: Sometimes. Depends on if I like the task. I'm better with the prep work – I lack follow-through…
Loyal: Yes.
Beautiful: My mom says so. :)
Easy to talk to: Absolutely
Hard to please: So NOT true… um…
Harsh: Well… I suppose
Practical: Yeah.
Fussy: Absolutely not! Um.. could you please move that lamp two inches to the left, thanks.
Often shy: This one is VERY true
Pessimistic: Expect the worst and you'll never be disappointed…

LIBRA – The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - Oct 22)
Nice to everyone they meet: I'm PREPARED to be nice to everyone I meet. Won't be a doormat, though.
Can't make up their mind: This is true. Or maybe not. No, it's true…I think…
Have own unique appeal: What does this mean???
Creative: You tell me
Energetic: Urm… depends on the activity ;)
Very social. Depends on the society. I like my little group of friends but I don't need to be around people constantly.
Hates to be alone: This one is flat out, 100% WRONG
Peaceful: I can be Zen if I feel like it.
Generous: Again, it depends on the recipient
Very loving: To those who've won my love, absolutely.
Beautiful: That's what my mommy keeps telling me…
Flirtatious: *wink wink, nudge nudge* ;)
Give in too easily: yeah…
Procrastinators: No question about it.
Very gullible
: As many lies as I've been fed in my life, I still don't expect to be lied to. Except by Jo…

Anyway, Virgo gets 7 years bad luck and Libra gets 9 years. By sending this tripe to the recycle bin, do I split the difference and get 8 or add them up and get 16??? With my luck, they'll be multiplied and I'll get 63.

Oh well. See you guys in 2071…

(Nova! Don't you dare wait that long before coming back!!!)


Nova said...

I check here every day! What are you talking about? There aren't any know-it-alls picking apart my every word here. (Sensitive? Me? Nahhh...)

Oh, and yes, I am a very good kisser. But that has nothing to do with my astrological sign. It's from the embrochure (sp?) from playing the trombone.

EEE said...

Aww.... You're not seriously abandoning us on Topix are you??

We miss you! Angelique, Terri, Rational & I have all mentioned that we hope you're not seriously ditching us... :(

And you a confirmed good kisser, too...

Nova said...

Sorry, it's no fun anymore with "Cliff Claven" telling me I'm wrong because she's a union steward and has "more experience with this sort of thing," no matter what the subject is. That's just not any fun. Maybe if I find a subject where she's not posting, I'll be back. In the meantime, I'm starting my own blog! I'm not telling anyone yet, though...

EEE said...

Also, according to Pudbert, I'm a 12yo lesbian with lice. I don't know who told him that. It was supposed to be a secret.

Just ignore the buttheads and talk to your REAL imaginary friends!!!

We miss you! (And it's only been a couple days!) I can be REALLY annoying when I don't get what I want!

EEE said...

Ooh! Whatcha gonna blog about???

Nova said...

I don't have a real set structure. Kind of like yours, just whatever happens to be getting on my nerves at the time. "Grumpy Old Man" kind of stuff. I think I'll start by talking about those durn kids today...LOL!

Anonymous said...

Nova, glad you came back to Topix.