Wednesday, May 21, 2008

In a Handbasket

I'm going to hell. Straight to hell.

When I got to work this morning, one of my coworkers was out sick.

Coworker#1: Coworker#2 is sick.
Me: Again?
Coworker#3: Yeah, I guess his cold is really bad.
CW#1: Colds really hit him hard.
CW#3: I come to work even when I have a cold.
CW#1: Me too.
Me: (laughing) Some people just aren't as hardcore as you guys. I know when my dad is sick, he turns into a great big baby.

*Phone rings*

Me: This is EEE.
Mom: Hi, EEE. It's Mom.
Me: Mom! Hi! What's up?
Mom: Now, I don't want you to worry*

*WHY do parents do this???? She might as well have shouted: WORRY! WORRY NOW!!! WORRY A LOT!!!

Me: What! What is it? What's wrong???
Mom: Nothing, nothing. I don't know if you knew, but your father went in for surgery this morning.
Mom: Now, don't worry, it was just a follow-up to those tumors he had removed last month.
Me: Tumors?! Surgery?! Last month?? WHAT!
Mom: Oh. Didn't I mention?
Me: No! No, you did not.
Mom: Oh. Well, your father had surgery last month to remove some small tumors from his bladder. They were benign, but the doctor wanted to get rid of them.
Me: (taking long, steadying breaths) OK. So they're gone??
Mom: Well...
Me: They're NOT gone???
Mom: It looks like they've come back.

She went on to explain that these tumors are common in former smokers, especially men, even if they quit years ago. (Nova!!!) And even though they're benign, the doctors are going to do a 6-week round of Chemo.


Is there as scarier word in all the world???

To be fair, the doctors have been very very clear that this is preventative, that my father does NOT have - eek! - Cancer. And apparently it's going to be Chemo-lite. He can drive himself there and drive himself home. It's administered locally (I don't even WANT TO KNOW!!!) and following the procedure he has to bleach out the toilet the first time he uses it.




And there I was, calling my dad a "great big baby" probably at the exact minute they were wheeling him out of surgery.

Yep. Straight to hell.

I love you, Daddy! Be better soon!!!


Angelique said...

Hey EEE. I am so sorry about your dad. I had a friend who just went through chemo for a lung problem and she had never smoked ever. Luckily, everything turned out okay and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they will for your dad as well.

EEE said...

Thanks, my angel!

The doctors aren't worried, so I'm trying not to be worried, either.

I talked to my dad a few minutes ago and he doesn't see what the big deal is.



Anonymous said...

Hello Dearest EEE,

I am sorry you are hearing this in the manner that you are. Just remember that your parents know you better than anyone. That is their gift, having raised you, and your gift was just being born and growing up who you are. They are so very proud of you. I can understand why they didnt bother you about the details. I know that even bladder cancer is very treatable and has a high survival rate. Bless your father that the tumors are not cancerous. Its really just a formality and a byproduct of aging. Your Pops is going to be fine. Your parents know you and didn't want to worry you is all.

Keep your chin up lover. Everything works its way through for a reason. I have no doubts your father will be fine.

Take care,

"Anonymous" :)

Asha said...

EEE - take care of yourself too, and try not to stress yourself out. These kind of tumors are pretty common, and isnt it good that they are so easily treatable.
And i am so glad that your parents are so chilled out about this.

Take care, and see you on the forum,

EEE said...

Thanks for all the lovely and thoughtful comments, you guys!

My dad is in disgustingly good spirits and my mom is disturbingly calm about all of this!

The best part, though, was Jo calling me last night demanding to know if I knew about this.

Hahaha! SHE'S the one who lives 3 miles from them (while I'm 400mi away!!!)

Happy Thursday, all!

Nova said...

Thanks a lot, EEE. Now I'm going to be freaking out for years to come, wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. LOL!

EEE said...

Oops! Sorry, Nova!

I really do like to diagnose my friends...

I'm sure you're fine. And if you're not, you're welcome to use my tried and true strategy:

Ignore it and hope it'll go away!

(kidding! I wish nothing but good health to all those I love!)